A Yes Man Equals No Ma’am


Just tell her what she wants to hear and everything will be okay. That is the advice the author of the article, “What She Really Wants to Hear” advocates.

Every once in a while in the relationship a woman will ask a question that is veritable minefield. The man is not sure how to answer these questions because his past experiences have given him inconsistent results. He is never sure what the right thing to say is because in some instances the woman is happy with his answer while in other instances she is not. The problem is that often times in both instances he gave the exact same answer. The author claims to be able to navigate the minefield by coaching men on giving the proper answers to these silly questions. So let’s take a look at his answers and see if they are good or just another example of bad love advice.

Question #1: Do you like what I am wearing?
Answer: “You look beautiful”
The Breakdown: A little bit of ambiguity goes a long way. Leave specific criticisms to her friends. She doesn't love you for your informed opinions on culottes.

Question #2: Do I look fat in this?
Answer: “Of course not.”
The Breakdown: Absolutely no other answer should be used here. Don't go off the script. Not even if she's wearing a fat suit.

Question #3: Can you give me a hand?
Answer: “Sure.”
The Breakdown: This is your opportunity to remind her why she keeps a shaved ape like you around. You lift the heavy stuff. You unstick that which is stuck. You change the lightbulbs.

Question #4: Do you love me?
Answer: “I love you.”
The Breakdown: They want to hear you say it. Now is not the time to be funny. Avoid "yepper" or "affirmative."

Question #5: What the hell is your problem?
Answer: “I love you.”
The Breakdown: Neutralize her attack with affection. If she follows up with, "What the hell do you mean by that?" bail out the window like Benicio del Toro in The Hunted.

Question #6: Which do you like better: this one or this one?
Answer: “That one”
The Breakdown: You are a man. Show her you are in charge. State a preference. "I love you and I love the first pantsuit you showed me."

The thing that strikes me about all these answers is that they are all approval seeking, insincere, needy and submissive answers. We all know how much women love guys who demonstrate these traits. Always telling a woman what she wants to hear is not going to make her like you more. If it does then you have a control freak on your hands and that is not the type of woman you want to be with. A woman cannot respect a man who always tells her what wants to hear. That goes double for the control freak. One of the key things romantic love is built upon is respect. A control freak may keep you around to bark orders to but she will not respect you. As her respect for you diminishes, so will her love.

The second thing I would like to address is the “I love you” answers to questions 4 and 5. The words “I love you” have been bastardized so much in our society that it now has little to no meaning. This article is a perfect example of how misguided men say, or are told to say “I love you.” These men either say “I love you” back to their partner like a parrot when said to them or they say “I love you” either to get out of trouble, get their own way or as a prelude to physical intimacy. In each and every case it is disingenuous. If there is one thing that women hate as much if not more than insecure, needy and submissive men, it is men who are insincere.

So if you want to walk on eggshells around women and exemplify the qualities that women hate, then by all means, follow this advice.

Remember guys, a woman cannot truly love and respect an insincere “yes man.”