Is it a good idea to make a date on a date?


Today my Cadets we are looking at some advice from Scott Patterson from Chick Magnet 101 on how to end the first date and set up a second one. Let’s take an excerpt out of his material and see what he says:

Scott Patterson:

Many guys think a first date is only successful if you end up having sex. In my opinion, this is wrong!
There are a lot of times when you want to have a lot of fun on a first date, but don't want it to lead to sex. This is especially true if you're looking for a long-term relationship.

During your first date, you'll probably get an idea if there's chemistry between the two of you. At this point, you can try two things:

First you can suggest a 'venue change and go on an immediate second date. Or you can end the date if once of you have already made plans after the first date.

Now if one of you has to leave after the first date, I suggest you immediately set up a follow up date.

Here's how to do it...

As you're ending the date, take something from the conversation and playfully turn it into concrete plans for landing that second date. For instance if she expressed interest in a particular type of music mention that you're checking out a band which is similar to her taste. Then ask if she wants to 'tag along' with you. Or even now that you've broken the ice, you could go out to dinner or promise her a home cooked meal. The point is once the first date has ended, immediately make plans for the second

The Love Cop:

Let’s start with the obvious. Scott claims that many men think that the first date is a failure if you don’t end up having sex. Scott…buddy….where are you getting the stats to back this assertion? Even the vast majority of the most clueless and socially inept men you can possibly imagine don’t think this way let alone your average guy. However, in his opinion, Scott thinks this is wrong. Well good for you Scott, you are among the ranks of normal and rational thinking men. Yet even after saying that he gives this advice later in his article:

There might be an opportunity to have sex with a woman on the first date. If you're determined to have sex then you should first find out if she is interested in you in a sexual way. The best way to determine this is to kiss her. This is the quickest way to find out if she likes you or not. If you determine she wants to make things more intimate, you can try going back to one your places. Then once you're in private, you can allow nature to take its course.

Cadets, if you try this you will fail 99% of the time. Just because a woman kisses you does not mean she wants to sleep with you. If you try to rush into having sex you will rush into rejection.

The second thing I want to address is setting up a second date on the first date. Although this may seem economical and prudent, it is actually a very bad idea. If you do, you will dramatically lower your odds of getting a second date. Even if she agrees, don’t be surprised if she cancels on you the day of the second date. Listen Cadets, I know it does not sound romantic but dating is all about posture and negotiation. This is doubly true at the beginning stages. A woman does not want to know she has you right off the bat. By trying to make a date on a date you come off as being way too eager. No, in the beginning it is better for both if there is a bit of mystery. It adds excitement to the relationship. Although it sounds strange and counterintuitive, when a woman is not sure whether you like her or not it has a much more positive effect on her feelings towards you as opposed to if she knows you like her.

So instead of making a date on a date, end the date, walk her to her car, tell her you had fun, wish her a good night and do not call her the next day. Give her time to fondly remember the great time she had with you. Then make her wait in hopeful anticipation hoping that you will call again for another date. Believe it or not, women really enjoy this process. It is a great test. If she likes you, her feelings towards you would have increased from the time your first date ended till the time you call her again for a second date. Who knows? She may even call you first.

The last thing I want to address is the “venue change” or extending the first date into a pseudo second date. There is an old Hollywood adage that says, “Leave them wanting more.” When you try and extend a first date then you don’t do that. What you do end up doing is greatly increase the chances of overstaying your welcome and turn your date off. It is much better to spoon feed yourself and end on a high note. Quality not quantity is what is important. What men don’t realize is that getting your time apart is just as important as getting your time in when it comes to dating. Cadets, you have to think of yourself as a tasty treat. You are a guilty pleasure that she gets to indulge herself with nibble by nibble. Give her too much and a stomach ache is inevitable. Give her just a little taste and she will crave you forever.

Remember Cadets, getting your time apart is just as important as getting your time in when it comes to dating.