Why Is Proper Execution And Maintenance Of A Relationship So Important? Part 2 Of 2

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Cadets,

In my last article I shared with you a dialogue that I had with one of my cadets.  Today I want to share with you the reply that I received from this cadet.

Cadet:

Thanks a million Love Cop, I do really appreciate the thoroughness of your response, ESPECIALLY how quickly you responded- that surprised me.The experience has been like e-mailing a non judgemental brother! I like the way you broke up issues and put things in subheadings, and that you addressed more fundamental issues, such as the mechanics of relationships and developing and maintaining healthy ones through open lines of communication and effort.  I would just like to highlight a few of the things you talked about.

  1. You brought up highspotting and the related points. I would never have looked at long distance relationship  from this perspective and I found reading about it insightful.  Furthermore it made me feel less guilty for feeling alone or lonely. It is not easy to act against ones "morals" or better judgment but equally it is not fair for a person to choose to drop and pick up their life and social plans upon return of their long distance relationship partner. I feel more justified, still selfish but in a less negative way.
  2. Relationships are the most successful when a man knows how to properly take the lead in the relationship and also properly maintain it.  I love this quote, and have danced tango and salsa so know what you mean with your metaphors. I think three areas are at work though, 2 individuals and one unit( sum of the 2) it is imperative for each individual to feel confident in letting go of the reigns and passing it to their partner. And sometimes show off himself, his lady and sometimes just "be still".   Communication IS key.

When a man does not seem to have a clear direction or focus in his life or in the relationship the woman finds this disconcerning.   I 100% AGREE!!!

In my case the romance and communication wasn't bad just the experience/ maturity levels mismatched. This is why breaking up was so hard to do, he 110% listens, tries to work on issues I bring up about us- including romantically, therefore invalidating these reasons for a break-up. However, it is impossible to ask a person to grow up overnight when you are fully aware of this being a necessary process which develops at its own pace, - that was an area I had not considered at the start of the relationship due to my own immaturity. I was used to going with the flow. Now I will consider it in future encounters. C'est la vie

As for an update, I broke up with my partner  face to face and it wasn't as traumatic for either of us as I had feared. Although he believes we had something special he understands my reasons. At present I believe he is very special but we're on different pages, so am at ease closing that chapter. I have begun a casual intimate relationship with my sports club friend, which I would like to gradually explore more, he wishes to take it day by day. I will remain single and honest with myself and those around me and not rush into life or opportunities when it comes to my personal life.  Kind wishes and gratitude.

Remember to check back in a couple weeks for another article.

Here to Serve and Protect Your Heart and Mind

The Love Cop